The Leadership Lesson I Learned the Hard Way: A Tale of Self-Reflection
“Please have a seat,” my boss said, then closed the door behind her. I sat down slowly, feeling a little concerned at how serious she was. “Urs, there’s no easy way to put this, but we are letting you go, effective immediately. You have thirty minutes to gather your belongings. Please hand me your badge.”
I was in shock. I quietly packed my belongings, and a half hour later, I stepped out of the office lobby into the bright sunlight of the busy streets of downtown Seattle wondering what to do next. In the blink of an eye, my attempt at transitioning from independent leadership consultant to marketing director at an investment management firm had come to a screeching halt.
The High Cost of Overconfidence
So, what happened?
I was almost two years into my job as marketing director at my former executive coaching client’s firm. While I did not have a marketing background, I was getting up to speed on things quickly. I drove my team (and my bosses) hard.Before I came in-house, I coached the CEO individually. I also team- coached the three C-executives. As a result, and to a fault, I was never shy to share my opinion. I was willing to bring up the elephant in the room, be it with my bosses, my peers, or my team. I had strong relationships with many folks at the firm. Many remained friends over the years, and to this day, I am still a client. My team was loyal, and they made a point of regularly sharing how much they appreciated having me as their boss.
But a week earlier, I attended a cost-cutting meeting with my three bosses: the CEO, COO, and CFO. It was 2008, and the stock market kept tanking. As a result, the revenue of the firm was evaporating before our eyes. We already had three painful rounds of layoffs behind us.
The meeting was just about to wrap up when I turned to the three C-level executives and said, “Well, for a firm our size, I really don’t think we need three C-levels; I think one would do.” The stunned look on the faces of my three bosses told me I might have gone too far this time. At that moment, I overplayed my strength of speaking my mind and turned it into a huge liability. I am not proud to repeat it now. No question; I have learned my lessons. But at that moment, I lacked the self-awareness to show up productively. And just to be clear, I am not advocating for playing office politics and being afraid to speak up. The content of my message was on target, but I was too impulsive with my comment and made a poor choice about the timing and delivery of my message. The company was in dire financial straits, and I made myself a simple target by not knowing when to shut up. It cost me my job.
The Power of Self-Aware Leadership
It’s like I often say: “Growth lies behind door number discomfort.” In my case, this was literally true once my boss closed that door behind me.
Knowing thyself, as the ancient Greeks knew, means developing better self-awareness about your strengths and weaknesses. It means having an accurate view of yourself, your talents, and your achievements as well as your shortcomings.
Importantly, as a self-aware leader, you should assess your strengths and weaknesses in line with how others see you. There is a solid body of empirical research demonstrating that leaders with greater self-awareness make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. They are more likely to get promoted, and their companies are more profitable.
Sources:
https://www.jstor.org/stable/20152338?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/02683940310484008/full/html
https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/EJTD-04-2015-0031/full/html
https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1464-0597.1991.tb01002.x